Family Life Interview and Discussion

FAMILY LIFE: INTERVIEW AND DISCUSSION 6

FamilyLife: Interview and Discussion

FamilyLife: Interview and Discussion

Peoplehave different perspective about family life and the understanding ofvarious concepts of marriage. The differences in the understandinglead to diversities in the way different families develop theirrelations. The understanding of the marriage perspectives is alsodifferent with different generations. This is because differentgenerations respond to issues of family life and relationshipsdifferently. To explore these differences, this paper will interviewJohn and Morris, who have diverse experiences in marriage. While Johnhas been married for 25 years, Morris has just started his marriagelife with a young family.

Demographyand Generational Description

Thedemographic description of John’s family is more extensive thanthat of Morris. John is a 55 year old retired teacher who is marriedto Joan, an accountant aged 51 years. The two have raised a familyfor the last 25 years when they got married after a successful sixyears of dating. They have three children a daughter aged 23 yearsand two boys aged 19 years and 16 years. The family has a strongfoundation in religion with all of them being Christians andfollowing education as a family principle. The generation of John isthat of a retired person and a senior citizen. Having led a familyfor 25 years, John offers the best knowledge about marriage that cutsacross the generations.

Onthe other hand, Morris is a 34 year old Software Engineer married toDoris, a health worker aged 32 years. The two dated for two years andgot married five years ago in a colorful garden wedding after a yearof cohabitation. The two have a young son aged four years and are notin consideration to get another child. The family lives in anapartment that has seen them take a mortgage because both areprofessionals with stable jobs. The generation of Morris is the youngfamily man who has just marriage. His opinion and perspective aboutlife is based on the understanding of the newly married professionalswhose relationship is still fresh. In addition, Morris will presentthe views of the current generation of young adults of theinformation age.

Theinterviewing Questions

Howdid your relationship change after the transition from dating to nowa married life?

Howdo you view cohabitation in relation to marriage?

Whatwould be the most important reason you would consider divorce as anoption?

Theinterview responses

John

Howdid your relationship change after the transition from dating to nowa married life?

Aftergetting married, John note that their relationship changed from beingmore formal. On asking about what he meant by being formal, Johnnotes that he and his wife increased their commitment to each otherafter marriage. This means that their relationship became moreserious in marriage compared to the times of dating. John also notesthat their dating life was based on mutual respect of the families ofthe in-laws and they did not engage the family members much. However,after marriage, they became more close to their respective in-laws aswell as the siblings of the other partner. As a result, the in-lawsfrom both sides had more influence over the issues of their familymore during the marriage than before.

Howdo you view cohabitation in relation to marriage?

Asa Christian, John does not consider cohabitation as an option in arelationship. He notes that his friends advised him to cohabitatewith his fiancé before they tied the knot, but he objected to theidea. According to John, cohabitation proves the lack of fullunderstanding of the reasons for marriage. He further notes thatcohabitation proves that two people are related in a trial and errormode, and are in fear of commitment. As an advice, John recommendsthat we should not try cohabitation because it kills the familyideals that people should build.

Whatwould be the most important reason you would consider divorce as anoption?

Johnnote that divorce is not even an option in his marriage to Joan. Heaffirms this by stating that even if he is asked to marry again, hewould still choose Joan over all other ladies. However, he notes thatmarriage has challenges that should be overcome, and not escaped.

Morris

Howdid your relationship change after the transition from dating to nowa married life?

Morrisnotes that their relationship did not change in any way aftermarriage. He explains that the way they relate to each other was thesame during dating, at the time of cohabitation and even in marriage.It is at this point that John reveals the known assumption that mostyoung marriages do not notice a change in the way the couple treatseach other. For further explanation, John describes his dating hadinvolved little contact with the in-laws. Therefore, what marriageintroduced is the warmth and influence of the in-laws in terms ofvisiting and official confirmation that they are husband and wife.However, the transition did not create any change in their privaterelationship with each other.

Howdo you view cohabitation in relation to marriage?

Morrisappreciates cohabitation as one of the best period in hisrelationship with Doris. He notes that the one year they cohabitedgave him time to evaluate whether he was compatible with Doris as alife partner. According to Morris, he had planned to cohabitate withDoris since their time of dating and did not believe that people canjust marry without living together first. He notes that the one yeargave him the confidence he needed that marriage can work.

Whatwould be the most important reason you would consider divorce as anoption?

Morrisexplains that he does not like divorce, but there are some mistakesby couples that he cannot stand. According to Morris, the mostsignificant mistake is infidelity. He argues that he cannot easilyforgive his partner if she gets unfaithful. To Morris, he does notlike being unfaithful and id committed to being faithful. However, hecan consider divorce in case his wife is unfaithful.

ConclusiveView

Johnand Morris present different perspectives that shape the practice oftheir families over the years they have been married. The two presentviews on the same subject differently due to the way they perceivetheir role in their families. While John views himself as an equalparty to the relationship, Morris views himself as a higher party inthe marriage. This is evident when John does not see any reason thatcan lead to separation while Morris has a reason. Despite being avalid reason, it seems that John is totally committed to therelationship.

Atthe same time, the two present different perspectives in terms ofunderstanding cohabitation. While John does not appreciatecohabitation, Morris sees it as an option towards achieving marriage.According to John, cohabiting is a sign of an unsure commitment thatseeks a trial before tying the knot. On the other side, Morrisunderstands cohabiting as the best way to evaluate a partner anddecide on whether they are compatible or not. He understands marriageas a commitment that cannot be judged by the time spent on dating. Asa result, he sees cohabitation as the solution.

However,the two men reflect similarities of the two families. Both Morris andJohn believe that divorce is not a good option for a family. Despitehaving a diverse view on the reasons that can lead to divorce, Johnand Morris agree on the negatives of divorce. In addition, the twoagree on the role of in-laws in a marriage. For both, the relativesof each partner are parties to the marriage and make the relationshipformal after marriage. This is because the two notes that theirrelationships became more formal after marriage than during dating.

Thetwo interviewees illustrate the differences in perspectives ondating, marriage and divorce among other topics in family life.Coming from different generations, the two respondents giveperspectives that represent the understanding of different age groupson marriage. While the aged take marriage more seriously, the youngadults have a dynamic view of the institution of marriage. At thesame time, the two respondents provide the similarities in terms ofviewpoints about marriage. These similarities reflect the universalknowledge about marriage and the need for people to get committed tofamily life.